Monday, June 22, 2009

MIxed feelings

YEss! Finally this weekend i will witness the wedding of my sister and her long-loved fiance! Can you imagine after 8 years of courtship people are still tight together like them? And they are as sweet as before! I'm learning from them too, haha, because I believe the foundation of everything is God's love. YEss, happy~~happy~happy....

Well, I really don't understand, really really don't, i was argueing with God all the while for this matter, why does he send me away from this land? From my family, church, and my loved one? I don't understand, and this time he wants me to study things that I wouldn't dream of studying! My heart tears apart by the time I got this news, it is not in my planning at all.

Slowly and slowy, God is as if showing me something, He is trying to tell me something, I guess its 'Your mind is always greater than my minds'. Yes, He is the boss, He is, and I am just the servant. Then I could recall all the great servant of God in the past and present, how they commit themselves in having faith in God. Lord, I want to be one of them. I start to feel like what Ps Philip shared, that is the tear in the heart when I need to leave my beloved cell group, Cheras Youth cell, when I went there, there was literally nothing, and now my cell members start growing and is on the brink of multiplying, and God says: Hey Kenneth, its time to go! Speechless yet I know if I remained there, I might be the barrier of the cell's growth! People may not remember us, but God always remember what we did for Him, and for who we are.

6 more days to go and I will have to leave my home for an unchartted journey of life, at least for 4 years. Lord, lead me like how You've led Abraham, Moses and Joshua in the past. I love you Jesus!

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